Lost.

"The worst feeling is when someone makes you feel special, then suddenly leaves you hanging, and you have to act like you don't care at all."

It's been two years.

Two years of roaming around in circles, blindly stumbling through life and shallow events.

It's a long time to be that way, I know. Just doing work, occasionally going out with friends. Not the one to complain, though.

And then someone came.

Here I am, just minding my own business. And then someone came.

I thought, "I prayed for this. This must be it." It was the perfect time for me to get to know someone on a different level than the usual.

And I thought he was just right. He seemed to have almost everything I wanted for a person that I would be able to connect with. But I was wrong.

And now, I am wondering. I am pretty grateful to have known this individual, but was it really worth the time and effort (and pain) when in the long run it would all just be taken away from you?

I was not even given a chance to prove myself that I can change the way I think about life. To be positive about things. To trust wholeheartedly.

And now, the pain just goes on and on.

Thinking about how to move on from this always takes me back to where it started. And from what I see, it's not a pretty picture.

I am so lost.