death speaks.

I have no concrete opinions when it comes to Death. I mean, I don't know if I'm afraid of it or okay with it. All I know is Death comes and goes.

My first encounter with Death was when my Grandmother Ceding died of breast cancer. I was very young then. What I remembered most was the wake, wherein I saw a lot of people praying during the novena. Me and my cousins always playing games even after our sleeping time. A whole lot of relatives whom I hadn't known existed came to pay their respects. Most of all, I remembered Grandma's youngest son Harold, crying, looking at Grandma's pictures in their family photo album.

The grief was there. But since I was still a kid and didn't understand what it fully meant, the feelings didn't sink in.

Upon growing up, I came to know more about death. Some of my friends' parents or relatives died early, some with different causes, some the same. Somehow, I still didn't grasp the true meaning of it. Yes, they are dead. But the impact on the people who experience it are...extensive.

That was what I see when I witness death around me, with my friends who have connections to the person/s who died.

Until it was my turn.

When I was still studying nursing, I belonged to a certain section wherein almost all of us were very close. One of my closest classmates was a guy whom I consider a singer, talker, and a defender. At a later time during that school year, we received news about him encountering a motorcycle accident in Dumaguete and died instantly. The whole class was devastated with the news. We were really close, but the person who has been in grief the most was his girlfriend--his pregnant girlfriend.

The loss of a close friend came to me gradually. One of my friends called me with the news. She was on the verge of tears, and eventually hung up after giving me the news because she couldn't take it anymore. At first I was shocked, unable to believe what happened. I repeatedly asked for confirmation, which my friends had no trouble in doing so. I just sat there, staring into space and feeling numb. And when the news finally sunk in, I cried.

So this is how you feel when somebody dies.

Personally, I am very afraid of when my mom and dad would be taken away. Thoughts about it make me cry. A lot.

Then comes the realization that it doesn't have anything to do with the dead person. It's with the people the dead person leaves behind.

--This is for you, Sir Churchill Bantasan, whom I have known for about four years. A very good friend, joker, model to every employee in Qualfon. You showed your strength fighting against this battle, and I truly admire you for that. May you rest in peace, Sir Chill. I will always remember you as a very jolly person. Our loss will be very grave, but your presence will still remain with us.--

tanjay city.

A month ago me and some of my agents went to Ruthna's hometown. It gave me a chance to unwind after what happened with my transfer to another department (I'll tell you about that fiasco later on), and a final bonding time with my agents who have been close to me for the past year that I was under the KANA department.

Tanjay City is located at Negros Oriental, near Dumaguete where Qualfon has a branch there. We traveled around 5 hours to get to this peaceful place. Despite the long and tiring trip, we did not regret it even for a second. Because upon arriving there until we traveled back to Cebu, we were always eating! My face even felt rounder when I got back. We were just eating, eating, eating! There was even a point when I already grumbled...and Ruthna just laughed at me.

So there we were, eating, lounging, sleeping, going out, drinking, dancing, swimming...In short, our Tanjay vacay was a total bliss.

--at their local boardwalk waiting for the Fireworks Display Contest to
start--

--enjoying cool and clear seawater at a nearby town--

--just one of our pigging out moments at Ruthna's home--

--trying out their night scene at one of the local videoke
hangouts--

--paid our respects to the patron saint on the day of the
fiesta--

--at one of Ruthna's friends' house, readying for a night of
clubbing--

--hanging out at one of their plazas (they have two!)--

Wishing for more bonding moments with my agents, even if now I am not with them all the time. T_T

nancy drew.

I could still remember what school level I started to read books, but I couldn't remember what book it was. I just remembered that I enjoyed reading very much, and from that time on I started to read and read and read.

Since I don't have the monetary budget to buy the books I want, I submitted to the refuge of our school library. We had two: the Grade School and the High School Libraries. Well of course during that time I was not permitted to enter the High School Library, which was perfectly fine by me.

I remember our library being so big and spacious, and I spent a lot of time after school there. Sigh...those were the days when I was still young and carefree. No problems, just homework and play.

There was a certain book series that I got addicted to, and that is the Nancy Drew Mystery Book Series.

--1st book of the series--

I was curious that first time I noticed that shelf solely allotted for them. The cover pages looked so old, some books were even tattered due to overuse. I noted the long list of borrowers, some of them I knew from my class or the neighboring ones (our school's really not that big), or even some from the higher years. I picked a random title during one of those after school times--I can't remember which one it was, though--sat down on one of the library tables and read a few paragraphs of chapter one.

The story seemed very interesting to me. I remember finishing the book during that one sitting. That point I decided I liked mystery stories. From then on, I read all books one by one, some of them I bring home to read during the weekends or during my free time at recess. I didn't realize that time that I was already hooked. The plot where a girl who is aged at eighteen years is an amateur detective, solving complicated mysteries, helping the police find and catch the culprit, even involved in a lot of danger. It got me really excited from cover to cover, from one book to another.

Now, I am trying to collect them, maybe to give to my kids when they grow up, introduce them to the one girl whom I have been besties with during my grade school life. :)

camiguin.

Sometime in March last year, we traveled to Cagayan De Oro. We braved ourselves and tried the longest zipline in Asia and braced against the strong waters while kayaking in the Cagayan De Oro river.

After the unique experience there, we shivered in fright while travelling to the island of Camiguin.

Once we got to this historical place, we automatically checked in to our resort. Rested a little, ate a lot, and readied ourselves for the island tour the next day.

And what an enjoyable day it was.

--breakfast at our resort--

--lounging at the resort lobby--

--posing at the resort bar--

--enjoying the jacuzzi--

--at the bangka bound for White Island--

--at the White Island--

--the Sto. Niño Cold Springs--

--at the historical Old Church Ruins--

--after the cold, hot na pud! XD--

--one of Camiguin's waterfalls--

--one last hunat at our beloved resort (the best!) before we leave for Cebu--

Planning our next adventure!

ink invasion.

Yuan had been wanting to have himself inked for the longest time. It's just that I did it first.

When he saw my tattoo, he eagerly wanted one, too. But it was months before he did it.

It was one fateful day on August 14, 2012 that his dream came true.

I arranged for my tattoo artist Babang and Yuan to meet up. After a few minutes of chitchat, Babang prepared for the session. Yuan was so hyped and nervous while waiting for Babang to finish the preps. I assured him that he can do this thing.

Minutes later, the inking started. Keith even came over for more moral support.

It was like one and a half hours of pain when Babang said, "Humana." And we all looked at the finished product:

Feeling overwhelmed and truly happy at his accomplishment, he said thanks to all of us who were there. That event even made us closer than ever, not to mention adding another friend on his and Keith's lists!

Next in line to be inked: Keith Briones! :)

Yesterday and Today.

The sky turns to a merciless shield
The entire place to darkness
The living scream to death
Isolation is at large
Feelings open from taunted hearts
Struggling to come out
And all we can do is stifle and cry...
Now's the end
Now's the time
To kiss me and tell me
We're all ok...
Would you?


02-05-1999

pink lips and neon-colored nails.

I have always thought of bright and conspicuous colors as very attention-seeking, and I didn't really want that. But since I'm trying all these things before I turn thirty, I thought to myself: "Why not?"

So I got one of mom's bright pink lipsticks and tried it on. I felt uncomfortable at first, and usually I wipe my lips with a tissue seconds after I put it on. But after letting it stay for a while, I walked to face the mirror again and...wow. The color really suited me.

Now I wear pink and red lipstick almost every day. I am a convert, I confess!

Another thing was the nail color. I also thought the same of it with the lipstick, and had resented the thought of having very bright-colored nails. However, there was this one time I did my usual visits to my regular salon, and was trying to pick a color suitable for me, when I saw the nail color named "Kiwi". As in the kiwi fruit.

My thoughts reverted back to my vow to try everything before I turn thirty, and there I was, watching Ate polish my nails with a bright green color!

After the session, I looked at my feet, trying to see it from another person's point of view, and I was mesmerized. How I really liked the vividness of the color! I liked it so much that on my next session I tried the bright pink one.

Yep. Everything bright and colorful is growing on me. I hate kissing goodbye to my nude and normal "before" life, but as they say all good things come to a very abrupt end.

I wonder what it would be next. Neon skirts? Glossy and glittery bags? The overwhelming list of opportunities goes on and on!

things to do before i turn thirty.

I am already counting the days.

Turning thirty is life-changing for me. And so to somehow celebrate the coming of this very momentous occasion, I have been challenging myself to do the things that I haven't done yet.

First was, getting a tattoo. I did this with one of my old friends Babang last February 10 of this year. Here is the first coming out photo of my baby:

If you must know, it is a lotus flower. When this is inked, it means that the person is undergoing a great change in his life. Well, I definitely am!

Next is the PIU. Yeah, I know. So childish, but so fun! It burns my calories and makes me more alert. It also makes me wonder why I hadn't done this before when I still had the excuse of being a teenager.

What else? I can't think of anything more, but I'll let you know. :)